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in washington, d.c.,, proved to jersey when i was a few months old. >> jon: so lived... >> lived in bergen county, small town called harrington park. >> jon: beautiful harrington park. very nice. and now you are the superhero mayor of newark. i read stories about you. you pull babies out of burning buildings. you have reversed the rotation of the earth. how does this happen to you? do you patrol at night? are you filming an episode of cops? what are you doing? >> i did pa terrell at night a lot, especially when i first got in and there was a lot of change we were trying to make in the police department. i get a lot of attention for things frankly a lot of people in my city do every day. i remember during hurricane sandy i let a lot of my neighbors stay in my house until my power came back on, and i got a lot of attention, but frankly, so many people were doing things like that. >> jon: but you're the mayor. >> i am the mayor. >> jon: so your house is nicer. [laughter] >> if you saw how this bachelor guy lives, you would not necessarily say that. >> jon: is that true? does the mayor not hav
. >> in washington tonight, the g.o.p. is dealing with the issue of optics and diversity in politics, getting a lot of coverage of the congressional committee chairs selected thus far for the next congress. they are all white males. (audience reacts) >> jon: oh, i guess they all look alike to you, williams. (laughter) i'll have you know, there is a great deal of diversity and variety in that group. for instance, with these three gentlemen alone look like the kind of guys who would sell you three very different types of insurance. (laughter) and look at this guy! paul ryan! that guy's god a widow's peak. that's weird. that's different. and that guy, sure, he looks like your average local news anchor. but that other guy near him looks like your average sports announcer. (laughter) so the bland white guy with glasses, that guy's nearsighted but this other guy with glasses, that guy's got astigmatism. there's no -- what's that? really, near sighted as well? (bleep). all right. well at least with that many dudes in the group statistically speaking at least one of them's got to be gay. (laughter) (applau
washington? - [voice of denzel washington] i'm here, i'm present, and i will always be around. - lil jon? - [voice of lil jon] yeah! - [voice of barack obama] excuse me, lil jon. welcome, ray. i'm glad to have you on board. - oh, [bleep]! what's up, barack obama? ahem! [chuckles] wouldn't that be something if barack obama just showed up? - your start-up paperwork's right over here. [dramatic music] - man, you gotta be more careful. learn to use the shining. tune in and out of it. otherwise, you won't be able to sort out who's talking. - and i'm sick of these goddamn snakes... - just give me the basketball! - on this goddamn plane! - here, yo, coco, what you want to drink, girl? - leo, what are you doing? - drink some colt 45 malt liquor. [overlapping voices] - women dig chocolate! - is everything okay? [dramatic music] - ray! listen for morgan. morgan freeman. he will guide you. - [voice of morgan freeman] listen to my voice, ray. now, just stay calm and focus on that white man. - [exhales] everything's going to be okay. - once you finish up this paperwork, bring it to jennifer in my off
we can just sit back in our garden and enjoy the fruits and flowery aromas of washington in december. welcome back. you know, in the weeks leading up to the recent election america's business leaders offered some dired predictions. >> four more year of obama will mean that we're going to have to tighten our belts even further, layoff more feel. >> these people just want to work in honor and dignity and this president is desaing that. we're going cancel their health care. >> i cannot pay my staff and pay all these taxes. there is only so much blood you can get out of a turnip. (laughter) >> jon: i don't think you can get any blood out of a turnip unless-- oh my god, those weren't turn is, oh. some business owners were explicit that an obama re-election would in their eyes doom their blood turnip businesses. but now that obama has been re-elected how have the john creators amongst us reacted. we turn to our deranged billionaire, john hodgman, john. >> oh, how dare you. >> jon: what. >> how dare you applaud me now after you shiftless moochers rejected everything that is good and right a
the washington generals get lucky once in a while. but when you look at the overall record between the two teams, for god's sakes there are radio stations that play nothing but christmas carols, stores that sell nothing but christmas decorations all yearlong. there is a tv channel devoted to a yule log. and it's kicking cnn's ass in the ratings. don't worry, non- log-burning channel, there's christmas programs for you as well. there's tiny traditional christmas programming, really old-timey. special christmas programming. urban christmas specials. mormon christmas specials. country western christmas specials. chipmunks' christmas specials. otter christmas specials. bear christmas specials. cat christmas specials. large-headed child christmas. gay christmas. jewish christmas. whatever the [bleep] this is christmas. christmas underwater. christmas from the future. prehistoric christmas. that's right. there's a christmas special celebrating jesus' birth thousands of years before the birth of jesus. ( applause ) that is a holiday that is not in danger. there is so much christmas all over the place i
. >> definitely not. in fact i was telling the folks in washington today that the homes that were damaged or destroyed, 80% of them were the person's sole residence. and so people think it's like the millionaire homes on the beach. but really most of the folks are this is where they live every day this is where their kid goes to school. this is where they're retired too. >> jon: so you are in a weird spot. because you're a guy, so you are down there, are you asking for money. the same day the legislature in new jersey they ask if new jersey is going to do an obamacare exchange. >> yeah. >> jon: so you're down talking to the president while in your state they're saying are you going to do one of those state exchanges. you want money from him but down here you vetoed the exchange. go he know about that? de say like maybe i'll throw in another billion like-- what kind of-- what kind of horse trading are we talking about. >> no, no, he didn't. listen, i think he understands that there are all different kinds of issues. and there are going to be some that we agree on and some we don't. but we
year -- couple of years washington's kind of tested the patience of the rest of -- t -- but we've got 312 million people that i don't think 535 can impede their progress over time. >> jon: now, you guys have been friends for a long time. >> 45 years. >> jon: 45 years. he is -- i don't know, the eighth largest company or the -- >> i think it's seventh, actually. anyway, high. >> jon: and you're a very nice woman who's done very well for yourself. do you resent his success? (laughter) are you a -- when you talk to him, do you say "why don't you distribute the wealth?" >> that's the initial five minutes of every conversation we have. (laughter) i get into this. >> jon: the first question she asks me is "why aren't i in your will?" (laughter). >> jon: well, let me just -- why isn't she in your will? (laughter) >> now i want to hear the answer. (laughter) >> let's change the subject. i will point out in the last ten years i have probably paid taxes-- counting payroll taxes-- at a lower rate than carol has. it's wrong. >> jon: is it because we've got on the a place where we are valuing the
Search Results 0 to 29 of about 30 (some duplicates have been removed)